Happy Valentine’s Day
Happy Valentine’s day! I hope you are spending it with those near and dear to your heart. Hands down to whoever came up with this clever marketing idea, we love it. However, let’s not wait until February 14th to show our loved ones how much we care, we should do this daily. When I say daily, I don’t mean go out and buy flowers, gifts and chocolates every day. There are many other ways to show your love, like taking out the trash because you know your partner hates it, sending a funny meme in the middle of the day to show that someone is on your mind, or simply just listen to them go on and on about what their friend, sibling, boss/co-worker did to them (even when you know they were wrong, don’t tell them lol) just listen, be present. Those are some of the ways you can show your unconditional love.
“Practice the art of active listening”
If that were me
There’s this thing that most of us are guilty of, the “If that were me” syndrome. We are so quick to judge the people in our lives for making or sticking with certain decisions and/ people. We judge harshly without fully understanding the reasons why that decision was made, it could be that the person complaining is not exactly telling you the whole truth (I mean who wants to spill all the beans). So be careful about what advice you’re giving out and taking in, chances are, only one side knows the full truth, therefore, you should listen to be a shoulder/sounding board and let your friend vent. It has been said that most people listen with the intention to respond and not understand, this is the perfect time for you to practice the art of Active Listening. To the people venting, kindly let us know that you don’t need advice because it is human nature to want to give our opinion lol.
“Everybody is putting up with something”
Here’s the Truth
Friends mean well when they come to you with advice on how you should handle your relationship, whether it’s a petty argument or really serious issue. They really do mean well but don’t let them make you lose sight of the facts staring you in the face. Don’t let anyone bully with the “oh girl I wouldn’t put up with that”, “Oh better you than me because I would kill him”, the truth is, everyone is putting up with something lovey, some are slightly more discreet. Be careful when you follow advice, also make sure it’s from someone who has experienced that particular issue and has done what they are advising you to do, taking hypothetical advice can be quite dangerous. Chances are, if this were really them, most wouldn’t follow their own advice. Hell, I’m even guilty of this *throws hands up*
“Its two completely different people, raised differently, just trying to make it”
Be careful not to give unsolicited advice, and even when asked for it, make sure you give truthful and realistic advice that YOU would follow. For us seeking a shoulder and/ opinion, make sure you’re clear and not giving half-truths because chances are, you’ll get advice matching only what you have described and not the “REAL” issue then have us out here looking crazy because you stayed *Rolls eyes* lol . Overall, venters and ‘relationships experts”, it is important that we take and give advice with a grain of salt, always remember this; EVERYBODY IS PUTTING UP WITH SOMETHING, do what’s right for you and your dynamic. I am by no means promoting unhealthy relationships, just a word of caution to those that complain unnecessarily about their partner’s shortcomings, while ignoring their own, face your own issues, fix them then decide if thats the right fit for you romantically, you have the power here. Also for the people that are self professed experts and wanting to give people advice on how to run their relationships, you gotta know that relationships aren’t “one size fits all” they are all tailored differently because its two completely different people, raised differently, just trying to make it work, so go easy on one another 🙂